Archive for May, 2007

Use Me

Posted in Uncategorized on May 21, 2007 by organicsauce

I’m a disposable man
with a disposable heart
disposable mind
disposable will
disposable feelings
disposable being

I’m just a little negative
a little scorned
a little pessimistic
a little conditioned
a little defeated

I want to crawl underground
and hide alone in a wilderness of pain
I want to stop this needing, stop the feeling
I want a different kind of lust

Feel free to walk all over me
Stomp your feet and stomp in my head
Break me down and make me bleed
Use me so I feel needed



Posted in Uncategorized on May 21, 2007 by organicsauce

She fears this fear
gripping her inner child
Taking and taking
you feast on her
emotional carrion
You see her eyes swollen with tears
You hear it in her voice, the crackle of fears
You watch as she shakes with frustration
unable to express
Or maybe you just don’t listen

Yet you feast, knowing she will not resist
or wander
but tremble
Your slave, yours to use
Suppressed and caged, you drain
Taking her for granted
Taking her like everyone else does
Taking advantage
Taking what you think belongs to you
Laughing as you are gluttonous
She is there for your pleasure
Feeding your lust and desires
Your insecurities
It’s in her nature
To give
And make everyone else happy
And you take

You say you love her
Do you?Look out
She is becoming weary
She is tired of being tired
Frustrated with the frustration
No longer willing to just be
Her will is growing, even as you try to destroy it
And it will be too late
When you realize it’s too late
And you will say you are “sorry” and you will beg
And she will push you aside
With new life, new strength
No longer the source of your pleasure
But looking for her own
No longer being feasted on by you
No longer pretending that it’s alright
No longer

With sunset fading
Casting shadows on the river
Water moving, a natural flow
Fluid and majestic, seemingly calm
Yet powerful
So beautiful
So calming
Often underestimated
Clearly misunderstood
Like her

She smiles, her toes touch the cold water
The sound of the cardinal inĀ its tree
She smiles
Alone never felt so good
A rebirth
A natural change
Her destiny
Belongs to her

The cardinal takes off
Soaring in to the darkening night
She watches
“That is me….”

Fire Brings Change

Posted in Uncategorized on May 18, 2007 by organicsauce

Standing at the edge of the forest fire
I can feel the heat and smell the smoke
Ashes fill the sky and burns my lungs
My eyes sting with tears of dead things
The fire burns, making the change
The change inevitable, the heat incredible
The winds push and feeds the flame

I step in

Engulfed in the fire and flame
The pain as my skin begins to melt
Suffocating and can’t breathe
I can’t see where I am going
And I begin to lose myself
The sound
So loud

Then nothing

I am one with the smoke
I am one with the fire
I am fuel for the heat
I am rising above and accepting this change
I will go where the wind takes me
I will find a new home
I will begin again, fresh and new
I will live and I will be fine

Now, what about you?


Posted in Uncategorized on May 14, 2007 by organicsauce

Who can I blame?
This is insane
The pain
Betrayed by my own self
and sadness brings
a certain sense
of awakening

Trust is gone
Love is lost

I get a grip
I lose control
I see what to do
I know
But I am afraid to take action
and I am a coward

I struggle to not struggle
Alone with my frustrations
I fear my fears
and I see my future

through the blur of my shed tears